2012: Look, no hands!
Looking back at the year just gone I’ve spent approximately 450 hours riding a bicycle. I’d wager that I’ve spent approximately 450 of those hours with both hands on the handlebars.
Riding hones the pedalling technique, endless fluid circles. The body adapting, the bike an extension of the rider. Endless loops of Richmond Park, I could navigate it with my eyes closed. Or packed into a fast moving peloton, navigating hair pin bends. At times one handed, either hand, looking backwards, sideways, nonchalantly, effortlessly. And yet… as soon as both hands let go I feel like a fish out of water. Or at least a fish about to leap from the water to land face first onto the tarmac.
Everyone claims to have a good sense of humour. After all, who thinks of themselves as humourless? And so every cyclist must believe in their own sense of balance, it’s a basic prerequisite. Riding on two wheels requires balance, and as far as I know there aren’t any stabilisers in the professional peloton.
I recall moments of skilled bike handling to support the belief in my talent for balance, those times of staying upright when those around me were sliding along the road having fallen like dominoes. But perhaps that was just luck? Or because I ride with such excessive caution that crashing into anything would be a statistical anomaly?
Letting go of the bars feels like relinquishing control. My arms naturally adopt the pose of the falling rider, like I’m reaching out in readiness to hug the road. My bicycle senses my fear and obliges by lunging to either side in search of something other than the straight path ahead.
I remember my first time riding a horse and being surprised it wasn’t the same as riding a bicycle – you couldn’t just steer the horse, it had a brain of its own. You could only ask it to go in the same direction that you wanted. And letting go of my bike’s reigns I get the same sensation, but when at the mercy of my bike I struggle to credit it with the same intelligence. Even the stupidest horse knows that falling over isn’t a good idea.
But the worst thing of all is the secret shame. Do you live in fear of being exposed as a fraud? Of not knowing your clinchers from your tubulars? Of that cold chill when standing in the bike shop and being asked a question that exceeds your technical knowledge? The inability to ride no handed is a fatal flaw in my illusion of cycling competence, it marks me out as an amateur. The pros shoot down mountainsides at 70kph peeling a banana.
And so with the start of the new year my resolution is to master riding with no hands. Sure, there are more important matters that need fixing. I’ve got to start going to bed earlier, to eat proper meals, and to even stretch once in a while. But even if I end up finishing dead last in every race over the next twelve months, I will at least be able to remove my gilet without having to drop two metres off the back of the bunch. And if things really go in my favour, to raise both arms in a victory salute without fear of falling short of the finishing line.
15 Comments
Zach
January 3, 2012You must have an exceptionally good bike fit if you’ve never sat up on a long ride just to stretch for a minute or so!
Laurits
January 4, 2012I understand your pain. I have the same feeling of shame…
Tarik
January 5, 2012Hey Damien. Little anecdote to make you feel better. Back in 2005 I was involved in a London Mayor funded promo video for getting the Tour de France start in London 2007. The actor (well we were all cyclists playing a part) playing the yellow jersey (all the right kit/look etc) had to cross the finish line in Canterbury with his arms up in victory salute in front of the rolling camera. Problem was he wasn’t very good at it….and ended up crashing into a pair of old ladies sipping tea at an outside cafe table!
Dan
January 9, 2012Check out the ultimate no hands wheelie on a 10%+ slope by Peter Sagan- http://www.podiumcafe.com/2011/9/6/2408691/peter-sagans-got-skill-no-handed-wheelie-on-angliru-from-the .
Kieran
January 9, 2012Hey, it’s how I feel with track stands as a regular commuter in London, sometimes using my track bike (which has seen occasional use at Herne Hill). I feel I should be able to do them, so have practised in my local park but still not confident to do it in traffic!
Marc
January 11, 2012When you can descend Stelvio without touching the handlebars, you’ll be able to say you have mastered the no-hands technique: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZV4MJok1_2o
In the Saddle
January 12, 2012Marc – just watching that video brings me out in a cold sweat. How is he not flying off the side of the mountain at 100kph? Lunatic.
Kieran – I’m glad you’re not a traffic light trackstander. It’s just showing off isn’t it? On my way to work this morning I rode behind a guy who spent most of the time sitting up with his arms folded. I was just willing him to fall off. Which, according to my warped sense of cycling morality, would have served him right…
Dan – …which isn’t to say Sagan shouldn’t pull no handed wheelies. He actually has something to show off about.
pj
January 15, 2012i’d like to see you master the inner circle of regent’s park with your eyes shut, as per the implication in the first paragraph. that would be far out.
kieran
January 16, 2012hi, in-the-saddle, I wouldn’t mind if it was just showing off so much but always seems a bit dangerous wobbling on the spot surrounded by other cyclists and motorbikers. Maybe if I won the herne hill track stand competition I would be ok to do it at the lights!
In the Saddle
January 16, 2012PJ – I was referring to Richmond Park… although that hardly makes the challenge of riding it with eyes closed any easier.
Kieran – Impressive stuff. I wonder if there are any plans to make it an Olympic event?
Daffyd
April 2, 2012I still can’t do no-hands either Damien, no matter how hard I try. SUPER SHAME!
Gareth
April 10, 2012I relate to this, though perhaps the opposite!
I can signal, point out holes, signal with arms behind my back etc. Then when the speed goes up above 20mph, and all of a sudden I’m feeling every bump in the road. It’ becomes a paradox wheel – the gyroscopic effect of the wheel is lost. It has a mind of it’s own, and I have 7 others behind me screaming through the reservoirs at 28mph. In fear of falling, being run down and seeing thousands of pounds worth of damage, I sheepishly shout out obstacles.
…Yet I can ride no handed on all my bikes. Except my race bike . Which is a reason which prevents me from road racing. Fuelling and hydration becomes an issue, and hiring a horse and rider to neutralise a race so I can eat/drink will become too costly. Plus it’s not subsidised by KW!
So what were my excuses for not being able to ride no handed?
# Weight distribution – Weighed front and rear. 40:60% typical road bike distribution.
# Saddle setback – knee angle was fine
# The saddle – changed from Thoork to Romin; a fortnight of scabs, blisters & pimples. It’s not the saddle!
# Cleats – Too close to toes, too far inwards. Lots of changes, it wasn’t this.
# The bearings in the headset – checked and they were fine.
# Out of true wheels – they were fine.
# Twitchy geometry/warped forks/twisted frame – only one way to find out…
I got Jason Gardiner who has the exact same bike/size to ride my one. He disappeared out of sight in his cul-de-sac to turn and get momentum. He then came flying by me, smirking and laughing, hands by his side. The bastard. But do you know what? 10 minutes later, I was riding it no handed for over 100 yards – clearly it was all in my head! I’ve since been like a 5 year old riding it. But I’m still not comfortable doing it around others.
Seeing is believing. Perhaps all you need to do is see someone riding your bike no handed to believe that it can be done?
Miguel
April 10, 2012Just found this blog, and thank god, a post for people who can’t do the no-hander!
Losan
April 27, 2012Sometimes it is the bike.
My first two bikes, I rode just fine no-handed. Then I built up bike #3 – my first pure road-racing bike. A couple weeks after riding it two-handed, I went on my first-ever training ride with a racing club. It was fantastic, I was handling the pace just fine, taking pulls, etc.
Then someone stopped for a nature break, and the rest of us strung out along the road at a leisurely pace. My back was aching – perfect time to sit up and stretch! As I went hands-free, arching the lower back in relief, I suddenly swung extremely hard to the left. Back to the bars with my hands, and I cannot but over-correct to the right, and smack soundly to the pavement.
I continued the ride, but I had smacked my left elbow very hard, and I could not use my left hand at all. Five miles later I am starting to slow the group down and not feel well. I am stuck in the big ring since I can’t use my left hand, and there are some hills. I stop to check out my elbow – it has swelled to the size of a baseball and I notice I can move the bony tip of the elbow around.
In the end, I wind up having to have a big screw put in my elbow, miss a ton of saddle time, and rack up a $12k hospital bill with no health insurance. Worst of all is the fact that I incurred a gnarly wound in the most embarrassing, ungnarly way. The club riders were total class acts the whole time, but I could never bring myself to ride with them again.
remember
May 16, 2013I think this is among the most significant info for me.
And i am glad reading your article. But want to remark on few general things,
The site style is wonderful, the articles is really excellent :
D. Good job, cheers